Really? Are vampires making a comeback?
What does that mean?
Always good to start out with a framework for the discussion of an important subject. Oh, you don’t think vampires are an important subject? Perhaps you’ve never seen one. Perhaps even if you had seen one you wouldn’t recognize the person as being of the genre Vampira. You may be forgiven for you sins and ultimately inducted into the FOV—Friends of Vampires—notwithstanding your current educational dearth. First, however, you must become knowledgeable about the genre. (A future blog will treat the FOV in detail.)
Did you know that vampires are sought after by the U.S. military and very likely by the defense establishments of many other nations as well? They are. In fact, one of the team leaders for the Seal Team Six raid that killed Osama Bin Laden was a vampire. All personal identifications and the use of special vampire skills are classified Top Secret, and alas, I am unable to describe the singular contributions that vampires have made and continue to make to our national defense.
It is in the realm of medicine that we have much to learn about and become proud of the contributions of vampirism. You should already be aware of the groundbreaking discoveries that have led to the state of “vampire resurrection,” which means the reclamation of vampires, in effect, turning them back into normal, mortal human beings. But in the past five years medical science has made substantial strides in harvesting from the nature of vampires, important, even vital, information leading to organ transplantation and a surprising array of discoveries that will benefit all mankind.
For instance, we have learned that the phenomenal regeneration of vampire organs—particularly skin!—has led to quantum improvements in the treatment of burn victims. Ah, I note your skeptical look. You have heard nothing of this, am I right? Well, ask yourself this, if you will: Would I want the world to know that a good half of my skin was the result of a skin graft from a vampire? Not likely.
Of even greater importance, vampire blood has proven incredibly effective in the cure of such blood diseases as leukemia, lymphoma, and multiple Myeloma. Vampire donations of red cells and platelets, as well as certain stem cells, has revolutionized the treatment of these blood-borne diseases.
From the scourge of humanity to its principal medical benefactor, vampires have evolved with heart-pounding speed. Our discussion will continue. Do send me your comments, questions, and requests for support.